And Then You
by DrMrsShepherd
Summary: Their meeting wasn't perfect. Derek meets Meredith Grey when her fiance falls into a coma after a car accident. But there's more, Meredith is also a new intern at SGH. Derek falls for her instantly but can she ever feel the same?
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey, I'm back. So I know my Dempeo story didn't really work out. So sorry to all the readers :( It sucks I know but I hope you all give this a chance x **_

Derek Shepherd was your typical neuro-surgeon; cocky, presumptuous, superior and insanely handsome. His move to Seattle Grace was purely a business decision; his determination to become chief of surgery had led him there seven months ago. Since his arrival he had swooned every female member of staff and infuriated all the males with his overbearing and confident ego. Yet he was admired and highly sought after by both patients and people of the medical profession.

This particular Thursday morning was quiet and a little slow for Seattle Grace Hospital. Derek found himself wandering the halls after his rounds as he sipped his steaming cup of coffee. He was usually swamped with paperwork or some sort of crisis every morning but today he seemed to be on top of things and had nothing to do whatsoever. As he continued through the surgical wing he stopped in front of the surgical board to see his operating schedule for the day but found it was blank, he had nothing lined up. Sighing in frustration and not relief he turned and continued his stroll down the hallway. He went through his checklist in his head, going over it again to ensure he definitely had everything done that he needed to do; he had checked on his post-ops and pre-ops, he had cleaned up that mess of paperwork that had been thrown across his desk for days and he had just finished up with his morning caffeine boost. Everything was officially done. He decided to return to his office and wait out the long spell of boredom but on his way bumped into the chief.

"Derek…" the chief sounded from behind him. He was approaching him at a quick pace and Derek only hoped he had something lined up for him.

"Ah chief…morning" he responded turning around to face him. He still held his empty coffee mug in his right hand but with his left he brushed his fingers through his mess of curls and waited for the chief to continue.

"Shep…as you know we have interns starting with us next week…they start every year on the 12th…I just wanted to give you a heads up…as an attending you'll be dealing not directly with them but to some extent along with the residents"

Derek always hated interns, they were winy and eager children in his eyes and he dreaded meeting them.

"Of course chief…I look forward to teaching them" he smiled, trying to hide the annoyance that simmered in his voice. The chief gave him a nod and then disappeared around the corner. Derek continued down towards his office until the sound of his beeper echoed through the hall while his pocket began vibrating vigorously. Retrieving it from his scrubs he read the _**911 **_alert that flashed across the device and immediately ran in the direction of the trauma room that was two floors down.

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The trauma room was bustling and overloaded with nurses when Derek stepped into the room. From the minute he entered he began directing and demanding orders to every member of staff present.

"Adam Holt…32 year old male…car accident victim…flung from his car during impact….appears to have severe head injuries and probable fractures" one nurse sounded throughout the room as Derek examined the broken man that lay before him. The adrenaline that was jolting through his body was undeniable as he sprang into action checking his pupil dilation and reflexes first.

"Okay I need a head CT and an MRI stat…no excuses I want this done now people lets move" he enjoyed giving such high orders while he was in the OR and trauma rooms, authority never left his deep voice, there were lives in his hands he couldn't afford to be a nice guy on the job. Nurses flittered around him as they responded to his orders and he turned to leave knowing he could do no more without further information on the man's condition.

"His fiancé is outside Dr. Shepherd…I'm sure she'll need an update from you" the nurse prompted casually as she saw him leave the room. It was something Derek usually forgot to do, keeping the families updated. He nodded towards the nurse and went to seek out the young man's fiancé, it was the least he could do while he waited for the test results.

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As usual the waiting room was full of anxious people, some praying, some having given up hope completely. She was instantly recognisable among the crowd; she sat nervously in the corner clasping her handbag closely to her chest as she rocked herself back and forth in the chair, he guessed it must have been a comforting method of some sort. Out of everyone she was the only one to look lost and confused, she was completely absent and disoriented. He approached her slowly and cautiously knowing his presence may startle her but it wasn't long before she looked up and noticed him. Her piercing green eyes captivated him immediately and he smiled warmly at her moving to sit in the chair alongside her.

"Hi…Im Dr. Shepherd…I've been working on your fiancé" he spoke softly to her but she stayed still, facing forward refusing to look at him again. She was trembling and he didn't know whether to take her hand or just leave her be. "He's stable for now…he's on his way up to CT and we'll no more after that" he continued.

She made no attempt to speak for several minutes and he began slowly backing away from her, no longer able to stand the silence and lack of interaction, but at the same time he understood her pain and anxiousness.

"I know" she whispered softly, it was barely audible. "I'm…um…I know how all this works" she continued, still clutching her bag closely to her chest. Derek stepped forward a little waiting for her to continue. "I was at the library when I got the call…studying…I could hardly believe it"

Derek sat down beside her. He didn't understand why or how but he felt drawn to this woman, he felt as though he needed to comfort her and look out for her in some way. It was a strange sensation, one he had never before experienced. He went to put his hand on her shoulder but pulled back as she spoke again.

"I'm sorry…what did you say your name was again?" she turned her head and their eyes locked instantly. He felt like he knew her but at the same time she was a complete stranger to him.

"I'm Dr. Shepherd…Derek"

She smiled warmly with her teary eyes before replying

"I'm Meredith…Meredith Grey"


	2. Chapter 2

He had no idea what had just happened. The connection he had felt with this complete stranger was difficult to explain. As Derek strolled back to his office he felt the pit of his stomach sink, remembering that he was treating this woman's fiance, she was off limits. Usually he could have any woman he wanted, his impeccable charm and outrageous good looks allowed him to have a woman every night of the week if he so wanted but there was something about this Meredith Grey that made him indifferent. The hospital buzzed around him as he tried to organize his thoughts and gain some clarity, never had Derek Shepherd fallen so hard.

He locked his office door, shutting the world out as he slid down the right hand wall to the floor.

_"It's just one of those days, that's all...pull it together" _he repeated over and over to himself in his head. He could not allow himself to be affected by this patient or any member of his family. That was the only rule a doctor was obliged to obey. A knock sounded from behind him and then came a voice.

"Shepherd...Shepherd you in there?" It was the chief, he sounded anxious and the knocking began to grow louder with anticipation. "Shepherd!"

Derek sighed in frustration as he pulled himself off the rough maroon carpet. He shook off his previous thoughts and opened the door to find the chief standing in the doorway. Without waiting for an invitation the chief shoved past Derek and entered the small but comfortable corner office. He began pacing for a few minutes as Derek closed the door behind him. He had never seen the chief so worked up before, he always held himself together well, even in the most drastic of cases.

"Chief..." Derek began walking a little closer to the agitated man.

"She can't be here Derek...she can't" the chief began mumbling to himself as he quickened his pace.

"Okay....who can't?" Derek looked confused as he approached the chief a little more. "I mean should I know who we're talking about here?"

He had no idea what or who the chief was rambling on about. He kept a calm posture as he waited for the chief to continue and explain what was going on but the chief remained flabbergasted and hysterical continuing his pace around the small room. His mumbling was getting harder for Derek to hear and understand, he considered waiting for the chief to calm down but by the looks of it he had no plan on doing so any time soon so instead Derek chose to intervene grabbing the chief by the arm.

"Chief" Derek looked at him with wide eyes "What's this all about?"

The chief inhaled and exhaled deeply before sitting himself down on the couch behind him. He rubbed his temples with his index fingers like he always did when trying to work things out for himself but never had Derek seen such a hysterical chief. Derek moved to sit alongside him, waiting patiently for the chief to begin his explanation.

"Chief" he whispered again grasping onto the chief's shoulder supportively. He was close to the chief, ever since he moved to Seattle, the chief seemed to be his only friend. He had known him throughout his whole medical career, he mentored him and helped him become the surgeon he now was, yet never had he seen him like this. He continued to look at him until finally the chief pushed himself to speak.

"Twenty-five years ago, I had an affair with a fellow intern....we were young and naive...to actually think we could ever be together" the chief let out a disgruntled sigh of laughter wiping his open palm over his bald head. "but we were in love...we may have been stupid, but we loved each other"

Derek continued listening intently to the chief's story. He could see how hard this was for him, his expression was pained and although years had passed Derek could tell that the chief still to this day loved the woman he was now talking about.

"So what happened?" Derek asked now fully in tune with the cheif's story of love and hardship "I mean you stayed with Adele....why?"

The chief let out a sigh, a sigh that proved his inability to come up with a solid reason for his descision. Derek could see the regret in his eyes, regret that would never leave him.

"Well...Adele was my wife...Ellis was married and she had a little girl...we had responsibilities, it would have been selfish of us to think of only ourselves...so I...I ended it" A tear fell from the chief's left eye but it didn't go unnoticed. Derek tightened his grip on the chief's shoulder who merely wiped it casually from his cheek. He cleared his trembling throat before speaking again "anyway...um...that was a long time ago" he dismissed it immediately refusing to let Derek see his weakness any longer.

"Okay...but is she here? Ellis I mean?....you kept saying she can't be here...she can't be here, and this must have come from somewhere"

Derek knew there was a reason for the chief's meltdown and if this Ellis woman was now in the hospital then naturally the chief's feelings would immediately resurface. The chief stood up and once again began pacing. It was getting a little annoying for Derek who just wanted answers at this point. The chief shook his head vigorously, wiping more tears that had escaped his eyes.

"No no...it's not Ellis" he choked "It's um...it's her daughter, I saw her in the hall...she looks just like her"

Derek moved from the couch and stood infront of the chief. He could never understand how difficult this was for the him but he could at least try, emotions were not something Derek Shepherd was good at handling not even when they were his own.

"Is she here with her mom?...Is Ellis a patient?" Derek was trying to get the chief to focus, for all they knew this Ellis woman wasn't even at the hospital.

"I don't know Shep...why do you think I'm freaking out!" the chief snapped and began his pacing again.

"Okay okay look...I'll look into it okay...just calm down"

The chief sighed with relief this time and he looked to be alot more calm. Derek's pager sounded throughout the room indicating his need to leave the chief. He stuffed the pager back into his pocket and both left the office behind them.

"I just need to know what Meredith Grey is doing in my hospital Derek" the chief stated walking away leaving Derek a little confused, wasn't that the name of the girl he had just met?

* * *

Derek stood at the nurses station reviewing Adam Holt's test results, his head CT didn't look good and he knew he had to operate and soon. He began drumming his fingers on the counter-top trying to decide the best course of action for his patient; if he didn't operate Adam would die but if he did he may die, the odds were 50/50 either way he went. He bundled up the papers that lay across the counter and put them back into the folder, handing it back to the nurse he turned quickly only to bump into Meredith. The slight collision caused her to stumble a little but Derek reached out and caught her, his reflexes jolting into action immediately.

"Oh god...I'm so sorry" he apologised as he steadied her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah...I'm fine" she smiled assuringly "It was my fault I shouldn't have been creeping up on you" he was amazed at how strong she was being. Her fiance lay in a bed unconscious just down the hall and yet she still managed to force a smile which could light up a room. Derek laughed at her remark, it was just instinct.

"You creep up on people often?" he joked, his arms still clasping onto hers.

"No no...today is an exception" she teased back. Her eyes fell onto his arms "Do you mind if I get my hands back?"

Realising that he was still holding onto her he released her instantly. She was still smiling warmly at him and for the first time in a long time he felt nervous. He was stuck for conversation and words so he just waited for her to say something.

"I um...Adam's mom is coming from Michigan...and I would like to have something solid to tell her when she gets here....do you know anything yet?"

Derek could see the desperation in her eyes. He wanted to have good news for her, he wanted to tell her that everything would be fine but he couldn't. They stood in silence while he found a way to tell her of Adam's current condition. He wanted to protect her from the pain she was surely about to feel once he told her.

"You know something right?...Doctor's always get this look in their eyes when they're about to tell you bad news...a look your giving me right now"

The smile was fading from her face and he could see the tears simmering through her lush eyes, she was trying to remain strong but the thread she was holding on by was slowly tearing apart.

"It's okay...you can tell me" she pleaded wiping a tear away from her cheek that had escaped. Derek sighed and pulled her over to the chairs at the other side of the hall. Sitting her down and him beside her he braced himself. He didn't know why this was so hard for him. He had done this thousands of times but something about this girl was different.

"Adam has a cerebral haematoma which is...."

"A mass of blood in the brain...I know" she finished his sentance effortlessly "what else?"

"Well that's just his head injuries...there's also some trauma to the spleen...Dr. Bailey is going to operate on that while I try and resolve the bleeding to the brain"

The young woman began trembling before him but she was trying her best to remain as calm as possible. Derek moved to wrap his arm around her shoulder but she shook him away, she wasn't willing to let him comfort her in any way. She stood up from the chair and began pacing the hall, her breathing was heavy as she fought back the tears that were just minutes from breaking free. Derek moved towards her, once again clasping his hands onto her arms.

"We're going to do everything we can for your fiance...now he's young and strong and there is no reason in the world for you to believe that he can't pull through this okay" Derek was firm in his instructions. He reached out for Meredith again yet this time she fell into his chest and embraced him. She was without any support and finally needed someone to hold her. He obliged, wrapping his arms around her without hesitation. As her head rested in the crook of his neck he found himself being intoxicated by the warm scent of her hair...lavender he thought. Her breath tickeled at his neck but it was comforting, he had never been so close to another person. Her tiny frame was easy to hold and for a brief moment he forgot who he was holding...his patient's fiance!


	3. Chapter 3

**_Thanks for all your comments, they mean alot. Keep reading x :)_**

"He's crashing" The OR team buzzed around Derek, springing into action once the alarm sounded throughout the room, the constant beep sound signalling no heartbeat echoed around them as they tried to revive the young man on the table. He was their responsibility, him dying wasn't an option in their eyes. Derek was just about to close him up when he coded yet Dr. Bailey still had some further work to do. His mind was brought to the woman who waited out in the waiting room for news of her fiance, he could not and would not tell her they had lost him. He watched as Dr. Bailey worked but there was still no change, the flat green line still moved across the monitor and the ringing sound still dominated the OR....

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She sat helplessly in the corner of the waiting room, there was still a flicker of hope left in her eyes but her nerves were obvious in the way she fiddled with her fingers. Derek edged closer towards her, knowing what he was about to tell her would more than likely shatter her world. His breathing was shallow as he got closer to her. He waited for her to see him but her gaze remained fixated on that one spot on the floor. He took a deep gulp, now just inches away from the woman he had grown to like so much. She soon noticed his presence and stood up detecting his mood instantly.

"Dr. Shepherd" she acknowledged now biting her lower lip with anticipation but Derek made no move to speak. "What happened?"

He stared at her for what seemed like forever, he just couldn't bring himself to say anything. Her eyes were piercing into his soul as she looked at him, desperately seeking good news. As usual the waiting room was full of people; crying, laughing chatting amongst themselves, yet she was still alone. Who would look after her now?

"Um...why don't we have a seat" he whispered softly motioning for the couch behind them. Her eyes shuffled between him and the couch for a few minutes until finally she moved to take a seat. He slid down beside her resting his arm behind her on the back of the hospital grey couch. Sighing deeply he prepared to tell her of her fiance's condition.

"Okay...you need to say something...cause I'm freaking out here...and you don't want me to freak out...seriously" she warned encouraging him to just tell her. He knew he couldn't prolong her agony of not knowing any longer deciding he couldn't protect her from this, as much as he wanted to.

"Adam...um...he made it through the surgery" Derek began as she let out a relieved laugh but refused to lose her focus, she knew there was more to be said. "Dr. Bailey was able to control the bleeding and repair the spleen, she found a few other minor bleeds but nothing serious"

His next words were not so optimistic. He dreaded the thought of her blaming him for her fiance's state but there was really nothing that could have prevented it. Adam's surgery was like any other patient's, some work out, some just don't.

"Meredith...I managed to control the bleed in his brain, there was alot of damage yet I was able to resolve it...but...."

"There's a but..." she said sadly, she knew the worst was yet to come. She could tell by his face that something was wrong. "Just tell me Derek"

She felt comfortable calling him by his first name and not Dr. Shepherd and he didn't seem to care. They felt like they knew each other although they were nothing more than acquaintances, he was the guy who operated on her fiance, and she was just another patient's loved one. Why did it feel so natural?

"Adam crashed on the table...he was down for several minutes, maybe too long" Derek pulled away from her gaze instead choosing to look at the spot on the floor she had probably stared at while waiting for the news "when the brain is without oxygen for a severe amount of time the patient loses...."

"Loses responsiveness...their ability to respond to normal stimuli...they can't....they can't..." she was beginning to hyperventilate, Derek pulled her close to his chest and she fell into his embrace without a struggle. He held her until she was ready to talk again, at one stage he thought she had fallen asleep but she hadn't, she was just trying to come to terms with her fiance's prognosis. Finally pulling away from him she wiped her wet face with her open palms and let out a loud puff of air before turning to face him.

"Adam's in a coma?" he didn't know if it was a question directed at him or a statement that was meant to convince her of the inevitable. He simply nodded in response not knowing what else to say. "A coma can...can last for years...he might not wake up for years...he might not wake up at all" she began rambling.

"Shhhh...shhhh" he soothed rubbling her arm with his hand "you can't think like that...you have to believe he'll wake up...yes comas are known to last for several years but its rare, most just last over a period of weeks" he assured her still stroking her arm. "you need to talk to him and assure him your there...waiting for him" Derek had no idea where all this soppy stuff was coming from, any other patient he would have walked away, but she looked so alone and helpless he couldn't help himself.

"Yeah...yeah your right" she sobbed trying her best to compose herself. "He'll pull through this...he's strong"

Derek merely smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Thank you Dr. Shepherd" she smiled warmly and he felt his heart melt within his chest. There was no way he could fall for this woman, and yet he knew he was.

* * *

"How's she doing?" Miranda Bailey asked as she stood alongside Derek outside Adam Holt's room. Derek hadn't moved from that same spot for over an hour, although instead of being concerned about his patient he was more concerned about the woman who stood watching over him.

"She seems to be holding it together" Derek sighed, his gaze still on Meredith. "But shouldn't you be asking how your patient is doing?"

Bailey looked at him in a very Bailey like manner. Her eye-brow arched like it always did.

"Fine...how's the patient?" she snapped. Derek simply laughed with amusement. He loved watching her get so annoyed with him. The truth was he loved Miranda Bailey and she was extremely fond of him although she'd never admit to it.

"Okay okay calm down Miranda" he smiled and gave her a very McDreamy like wink.

"Why are you staring at that girl anyway?" If anything Miranda Bailey was observant. Nothing ever slipped past her or went unnoticed. Derek was a little taken aback by her remark, was it really that obvious that he was staring? He stuttered for a few minutes before being able to form a concrete sentence.

"I wasn't staring at her...I'm monitoring my patient" he shot back although not exactly in a casual manner. She continued to stare him down before replying with a very un-convinced "Mmmm Hmmm"

"I wasn't" he reinforced his original statement of denial before turning away from her and walking quickly down the hall. Bailey just shook her head, she knew Derek Shepherd's reputation all a little too well.

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After turning the corner, out of sight from Dr. Bailey, Derek let out an agitated sigh. He couldn't seem to shake this connection he had felt with Meredith even though she stood down the hallway holding her fiance's hand. Trying to compose himself a little he noticed the chief approaching. He had forgotten that she was the daughter of his affair twenty-five years ago and knew the chief was looking for answers as to why she was here in the hospital.

"Derek..." he called ensuring Derek had seen him coming. Derek just smiled and nodded and waited for the chief to get closer, he knew he would have questions. "you were with her earlier...I saw you in the waiting room"

"Yes...chief I was" Derek agreed as he glanced around him ensuring no one was eaves dropping in on their conversation. The last thing the chief needed was to be center of the gossip mill at Seattle Grace.

"And?....what is she here for...she looked upset....is it Ellis?" the chief questioned, his voice a little more shaky than normal. Derek could tell he was nervous and scared, he didn't need his ex-lover floating around the hospital halls.

"Um...no...no her fiance was in a car accident...he's my patient" Derek explained briefly.

"She's engaged?" The chief sounded as if the news bothered him, as if he was some father figure to the girl who had yet to hear of her good news. Derek looked at him waiting for him to say something else but nothing came.

"Her mother isn't here...she hasn't even mentioned her" Derek continued but the chief simply nodded and turned to walk away. His behaviour was becoming more and more strange as the day progressed.

Derek's schedule was clear for the rest of the evening unless some sort of trauma decided to gate-crash his alone time. After wandering the hall for over an hour he felt a strong urge to go and talk to Meredith. He had passed the room a couple of times and she just sat there holding her fiance's hand, perhaps she wanted some company or maybe he was just trying to come up with some sort of excuse to go and talk to her. He pondered on his idea for over an hour finally deciding a brief hello couldn't hurt. He saw her sitting in the corner of the room, she looked fragile and innocent but most of all she looked lost. She was staring at the bare walls of the hospital room, a magazine lay open in her lap but Derek knew she hadn't been reading it. Her vulnerable state was all the encouragement he needed to knock softly on the door. The knock startled her but she flashed him a warm smile the minute she saw him.

"Dr. Shepherd" she stood up before he could say not to. He stepped into the room like a nervous little boy his eyes glued to the woman infront of him. She was smaller than he had originally thought, about his shoulder height. Her golden brown hair fell loosely below her own shoulder level and was a little messy from her attempt to get some sleep in the recliner chair during the day. Her most eligant feature was her pale porcelain skin that was highlighted beautifully by her piercing green eyes. He had never seen a more captivating woman before now. Realising he was indeed staring at her he finally spoke

"Hi" was all he could manage in the moment as he began fidgeting with his fingers behind his back.

"Hi" she smiled back, once again having the ability to light up the entire room. He was staring again and quickly shook it off moving a little closer to her. She moved with him in a circular motion until he stopped alongside Adam's bed.

"How's he doing?" he asked, knowing it was probably a question she would have for him.

"He's the same..." she sighed moving herself over to the otherside of the bed "I've been talking to him...maybe if he hears my voice and knows that I'm here he'll open his eyes" she brushed her long fingers through his sandy blonde hair so lovingly as she spoke and Derek immediately felt a cold stab of jealousy.

"It's good to talk to him" he smiled as he watched her hand move down to her fiance's cheek "I'm sure he knows your here"

She laughed softly before sitting into the chair that sat beside his bed for her.

"I'm suppose to start work next week...but maybe it'll be good for me, you know keep my mind off things" she was talking to him now as if they were good friends, which he hoped they could grow into. He didn't know if she was seeking advice or approval. He pulled the other chair over by the bed and sat into it. She was holding onto Adam's hand now, stroking it gently with her tiny thumb.

"I think it would be a good idea...there's no need for you to be here 24/7 and didn't you say his mom was coming?"

She nodded her head and cleared her throat. He could tell she was exhausted.

"Yeah...she'll be here in a few hours"

He was staring once again, but he just couldn't help it. This woman had him mesmerised, within a couple of hours he already knew he wanted her. She glanced up at him, her green eyes sparkling in the light and smiled.

"You should get some rest" he instructed returning the smile.

"I will...once his mom comes...I don't want to leave him alone" her eyes were back on her fiance and Derek knew that was his que to leave. Strolling out the door a piercing pain hit his heart, he was jealous of the man that lay in the bed...in a coma! He had never wanted to trade places with a patient...until now!


	4. Chapter 4

**_Sorry for the delay...updates may not be as frequent as I'd like them to be. I'm back to uni which means back to workloads. I'll try update as often as I can so please be patient :) and keep reading and reviewing ;)_**

A week later the hospital was back to it's usual self, that is it was back to being chaotic and noisy, exactly what Derek needed to get him through his work day. The arrival of the new interns was the topic of discussion this week among the staff, they had arrived earlier that morning and as presumed there was already some poor young victim who had screwed up his chance to shine in the OR. It was only 02:30pm and Derek found his schedule overloaded and messy. He scrambled through the halls checking on his pre-ops and post-ops aswell as running up and down to the trauma rooms when his beeper announced his assistance was needed. Finally becoming overwhelmed and exhausted he collapsed onto a comfortable couch in the residents lounge, it was closer than the attendings one. There was no one inside so he took the opportunity to throw his feet up and close his tired eyes for a moment. It didn't last long however when someone came bursting through to the doors.

"Dr. Shepherd...what are you doing in the residents lounge?" Dr. Bailey questioned as she eyed him up and down.

He sighed heavily and sat himself upright. Brushing his fingers through his mess of curls with one hand and wiping the sleepiness from his eyes with his other he edged himself closer to the edge of the couch.

"Sorry...it was the closest" he yawned. "How you getting on with your new interns?"

She gave a obvious huff and went over to sit alongside the tired doctor. Although Dr. Bailey was an excellent resident and teacher she was not the most patient of beings and hated being in charge of new interns every year. Like Derek she saw them as children who could serve only one purpose...screwing up!.

"Them fools are already making my life a living hell" she stated "why do I always get the duds?"

Derek laughed at her harshness but he understood her annoyance. He remembered what it felt like to be in charge of interns and how their bad calls reflected entirely on their residents.

"I have this one guy...O'Malley...he couldn't even diagnose a common cold this morning" he could see her temper beginning to flare as she slated her interns "Stevens...the model, she doesn't even look like she belongs in a hospital, she looks like someone who belongs in a mall....then there's the eager one who likes sucking up but that's not going to get her anywhere and Gr..."

"Okay Bailey I get it...you hate your interns" he laughed again standing up from the couch and moving towards the door. He felt like Bailey needed some time to herself for a while having such a rough morning with her new infants. The minute he vacated the couch she lay herself down and closed her eyes. He smiled at her, shaking his head before leaving the lounge.

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After doing another brief check on all his post-ops and having no surgery until six he decided to go and relax for a while up in the viewing gallery. He had a mound of paper-work to do and couldn't think of a more appropriate place to attack it. His office was too quite and dull, he'd much rather a bloody surgery in the background to help him concentrate. He climbed the stairs to the gallery of OR 1 where the chief was performing a liver transplant on some poor alcoholic who's own could no longer function. On stepping into the room he noticed how quiet it was. A few interns sat near the front but other than that there was only himself, Dr. Cox and Dr. Weller present. Nodding to the other two attendings he found a seat in the middle row and focused his attention on the surgery before him.

"Dr. Shepherd" he heard a whisper behind him...it was a familiar voice but he didn't pay much attention merely humming in response. "Dr. Shepherd" the voice repeated again and next he saw two legs hopping over the chairs from behind and sitting in alongside him. He looked over and there she sat in blue scrubs with a purple longsleeve underneath smiling casually at him like he should have expected her presence.

"Hi" she greeted, her glowing smile still painted across her porcelain face.

"Meredith!" he could not hide the shock in his voice nor the puzzled look that now consumed his own face "Hi" he laughed shaking the astonishment away, she continued smiling."Your...um...you work here?"

"Yeah...I um...I'm an intern...I just started this morning" she nodded, her lips now pressed together with the amusement she was getting from his expression of disbelief.

"Seriously...your one of the new interns?" he retorted just to make sure he wasn't hearing things.

"Yup...I wasn't going to...I mean I was going to put it off until next year...you know the whole thing with Adam...but then I think its better if I keep busy you know...like you said"

Derek immediately regretted his advice. Not only had he to see this woman when dealing with his patient but now he had to work with her and whats worse; he was now her boss. He smiled polietly trying to hide his own anxiety. His feelings were still simmering within him and now this would just make things worse for him.

"Adam's mom arrived yesterday...so she'll be with him during the day" Meredith interjected noticing the atmosphere was getting a little too awkward. She could tell her recent friend and now boss was being a little quiet. Derek smiled politely not knowing what else to do with himself. He knew he needed to direct the conversation out of such awkwardness.

"So how's your first day going...are you liking it so far?" he continued on with his paperwork, jotting down notes, seeming to be a little unconcerned with what she would answer with, but he did care, he longed to know how she was doing and if she was struggling any bit.

"Yeah...its been a little chaotic but I'm learning alot" she smiled "Dr. Bailey scares me a little though"

Derek laughed knowing all too well how Bailey treated her interns. Her main ambition was to make their internship as terrifying as possible becasue if they failed, she failed and Dr. Bailey was not a doctor who liked to fail at anything.

"Yes...Dr. Bailey is tough" he sniggered again now pulling his attention away from the paperwork to look at her. There was something more attractive about her in scrubs, they suited her well. Now that she obviously shared a passion for surgery and medicine with him, made it a little harder for Derek to dismiss his feelings.

"Well...I better get going...I don't want to give Dr. Bailey any more reasons to hate me....I'd hate for her to think I was sucking up to an attending for extra points" she joked, winking at him before getting up and leaving the viewing room. Derek watched her leave, his heart aching for her just a little bit more every time he saw her.

* * *

All interns had gone through hell that day. Bailey had them suturing, digging through faeces, mopping up vomit and performing rectal exams. Collapsing into the locker room they all groaned with exhaustion and disgust.

"I cannot do another suture...my hand is about to fall off" Izzie complained as she massaged her aching hand.

"Get over it Barbie...surgery is hard core...if your going to be a surgeon you need to toughin up...maybe your better suited to paeds" Christina commented as she slid down to the floor by her locker. Christina was hard core and they all knew she would fight to the death to assure her spot as a resident after first year, however Meredith saw a friend in her and despite her better judgement found herself liking her.

"Shut up" Izzie hissed back tying her blonde hair back from her face noticing the stench that was now emitting from her "Oh my god I stink!" she acknowledged scrunching her nose up in disgust. The interns laughed knowing they all probably stank. George was looking over at Meredith like a puppy, the whole group had noticed he fancied her from the mixer yet Meredith was oblivious to it.

"So um...Meredith...what's your story?" he asked smiling over at her in a creepy manner. Meredith's eyes widened as she looked over at him realising she had been asked a question, her mind had been elsewhere. She laughed a little amused at his comment.

"What?...I don't have a story" she stated shaking her head at the interns who were now all focused on her.

"What's the deal with you and McDreamy?" Christina interjected, wagging her eyebrows with amusement. Meredith blushed although she didn't realise she had until they all started _wooooohing_ at her. She didn't even know who the hell this McDreamy was that they were all referring to!

"Who?" she asked confused. Christina huffed and stood up from the floor, opening her locker to retrieve an apple.

"You know...Shepherd!" she continued before biting into her snack. Meredith still looked confused, why were they calling him McDreamy? and why did they think something was going on between him and her?

"Oh...Dr. Shepherd is just my fiance's doctor that's all...my fiance was admitted last week, he's in a coma after being in an accident" she had yet to tell her fellow interns about Adam but knew she had to now to dismiss their notions that something romantic was going on between her and Dr. Shepherd. The whole room fell silent, everyone feeling extremely guilty for their stupidness!

"God we're sorry Meredith" Izzie finally apologised for the groups behaviour. "How serious is it?"

"Well Dr. Shepherd said we'd just have to be patient and see what happens...he's done everything he can" Meredith felt herself getting upset and it didn't go unnoticed by the interns. There was an awkward silence among them until finally Christina decided to lighten the situation

"Well...you wouldn't kick him out of bed" she sniggered and the rest of the girls followed suit while the guys just groaned. Meredith found herself blushing again. She never really looked at Derek in that way, he was Adam's doctor yet now that she thought about it he was obviously extremely attractive.

"Oh my god Christina!" Meredith found her mood changing dramatically and joined in with the contagious laughter that was now filling the room. She couldn't remember the last time she laughed so heartedly, she knew she had found new friends.

**************************************************************

Derek found himself hiding in the x-ray viewing room for the rest of the day. The only thing that he swore would move him from there was a 911, anything else could wait. Now that Meredith Grey was working under him he knew he wouldn't be able to hide his feelings for long. Yet he barely knew this woman, perhaps it was possible that what he was feeling was excitement about gaining a new friend. He had been feeling extremely lonely in Seattle since his arrival and now he found someone who was easy to talk to, maybe thats all it was. He started at the illuminated xrays that hung infront of him until his pager sounded, it was a 911. Grabbing his coat he ran through the door and up to the third floor nurses station to where he was paged to. The atmosphere seemed calm, no code had been called and everyone was working in a normal fashion.

"You paged?" he asked the nurse sitting behind the station desk "what's the emergency?"

"No emergency" the nurse replied standing up and shoving a pile of papers into the filing drawer "he wanted me to page you...said you'd only come if it was a 911" she pointed over to a tall man who stood at the other end of the desk. His smirk was mischievious as he grinned over at Derek.

"Miss me" his grin was now stretched across his face unable to conceal his amusement at surprising his friend.

"Mark!" Derek looked over at him in amazement eventually letting his giddiness shine through "what are you doing here?" Derek walked towards the taller man and threw his arms around him, patting his back in a very masculine way before breaking away again.

"Ah...the city was boring me...so here I am"

Derek was glad to see his old friend but also knew he could be bringing alot more than himself to SGH and that meant trouble!


	5. Chapter 5

**_Sorry again for the delay! You may notice I'm kind of doing both Meredith and Derek's POV! This is quite a short update but enjoy x_**

Meredith tossed and turned in her oversized bed later that night. She was unable to pull her attention from the left hand side of the bed which belonged to Adam and was now vacant. The house was quiet, too quiet the only sound disturbing the silence came from the odd car that was passing outside the house. The red digits of the alarm clock flashed from the bedside locker telling Meredith it was well after 3:00am. Sighing in frustration she pulled her weightless body from the bed, her toes meeting the soft carpet beneath her. She wiped the exhaustion from her eyes and pulled her messy hair back off her face, tying it securely with a hair tie to the back of her neck. Although for the past week and a half she had been exhausted and run down, between spending time with Adam and juggling her new career as an intern, she still found herself lying awake at night, it was like her body refused to let her sleep. Perhaps Adam's absence was too much for her afterall.

Unable to withstand the morbid and dead atmosphere of the house she decided to go for a drive, even in her sleepy state. She grabbed her keys from the dressing table and made her way to the car, locking the empty house behind her. The roads were quiet until she got nearer to the city and now she had a fair idea where it was she was driving to.

On arriving at the hospital she parked the car as near to the door as possible. It was a cold night and she didn't fancy freezing her ass off when walking in. The hospital looked the exact same at night as it did during the day. Doctors sat outside the hospital on the benches, just to escape the hectic bustle of the corridors and loudness of the ER. Meredith proceeded into the hospital and headed straight for Adam's room. She was so thankful that she didn't meet anyone along the way, she was in no mood to explain her reasons for being there. She closed the door of the room quietly behind her and saw her fiance laying peacefully on the bed. She smiled on seeing him and began to approach him slowly. He looked like he had got a little more colour since she saw him earlier that day but then again maybe that was wishful thinking on her part. She realised she had started seeing things lately; like when she had told Dr. Shepherd he moved his hand when really he hadn't. She pulled the chair over closer to the bed and sank into it, her tiredness now really kicking in. Taking his hand in hers she decided to talk to him a little, she had yet to do that, then again with the constant presence of his overbearing mother she had yet to have that chance.

"Hey sweetie" she whispered softly "I couldn't sleep....I miss your snoring" she smiled and could feel the tears now beginning to sting at her eyes. "I'm a surgical intern now...can you believe it? because I can't! you thought i'd go into peads or something ridiculous like that remember, when we first met?" she realised she wasn't going to get an answer but she continued all the same. "God Adam please wake up...PLEASE....I need you!" the tears had now escaped and were streaming down both of her cheeks and she tightened her grip around his hand willing him to wake up.

"Meredith" a farmiliar voice interrupted and she turned to see Derek Shepherd standing in the doorway. She had never seen him at the hospital so late and was surprised to see him there now. "Meredith are you ok?" he continued moving into the room a little. Meredith wiped her teary eyes quickly with her sleeve but it was too late he had seen she had been crying.

"I'm fine...sorry I know I'm not supposed to be here... I just..."

"No no your fine" he interrupted before she could say anymore. He had been in his office with Mark catching up until now and had noticed her sitting in the room when he passed to leave for the night. He pulled the other chair that was in the room over alongside her and sat down, he didn't want to leave her on her own until he knew she was ok. "What's the matter?"

She inhaled and exhaled deeply, her focus still entirely on Adam, he knew what was wrong and yet still felt obliged to ask all the same.

"I couldn't sleep...I haven't slept since his accident...I miss him" the tears overflowed again and she squeezed her eyes tightly together to try and subside them "why did this have to happen to him...to us?"

Derek knew he had to find the right words to comfort her but couldn't find any. His heart broke as he watched her cry, she had no idea what an affect she was having on him, he was just her fiance's doctor afterall. He moved to put his hand on her shoulder, well it was a start anyway! His eyes were full of sympathy and yet at the same time jealousy aswell, he had no one to sit by his bedside if this should ever happen him, he was alone, just like she was alone now. Maybe they needed each other more than they knew.

"It's going to be ok Meredith...Adam will wake up...I promise" he squeezed her shoulder to enforce his promise, a promise he knew was a dangerous one to make.

"Doctor's shouldn't make promises they can't keep" she sobbed as she looked into his sympathetic eyes, she needed more than the promise of a doctor.

"No they shouldn't, your right...but I'm saying this not as a doctor, but as your friend" he smiled assuringly. She finally felt like she had someone in that moment and unable to hide her gratitude she fell into his arms, holding onto him tightly before whispering "thank you Derek"

Derek loved how it made him feel holding her as he wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. His face fell into her hair and once again her fragrance intoxicated him instantly. Was this friendship promise going to turn out to be a mistake?

* * *

After a few hours the sun started leeking into the hospital room. It was after 7:00am and both Derek and Meredith sat asleep in each others arms in the corner of the room. Neither had meant to fall asleep but exhaustion crept up on them both and they just drifted off within a blink. Meredith had worn herself out from crying in Derek's arms which eventually led to her slipping into an unconcious state and Derek was lulled soon after, listening to her breath against his chest. The sun was getting brighter and it soon stirred Derek from his blissful state. He stretched his arms a little and his sudden movement woke Meredith. She turned her head to look up at him and smiled.

"Oh my god...I can't believe we both fell asleep in here" the fact that she had fallen asleep in her fiance's doctors arms nevermind her bosses didn't bother her in the slightest, in fact awkwardness was the last thing she was feeling as she pulled herself out from under his arms.

"Yeah" Derek sniggered sitting himself more upright "sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep aswell"

"No no that's ok really" Meredith assured him as she wrapped her sweater around her. The hospital was always a little chilly in the morning. She walked over to Adam and kissed him softly on the forehead before stroking his blonde hair back. Derek was now beginning to feel a little awkward being in the room and so stood up to leave.

"Well I'm gonna go" he began as he motioned towards the door. She turned to look at him, she was so greatful for his company the night before she wasn't about to let him leave without him knowing it.

"Okay" she began to walk over to him and within seconds she had closed the gap between them and embraced him in a tight hug "thank you for last night" she pulled away and he felt a twinge pull at his heart "I don't really have many friends here and I'm just really glad I've found one...even if you are my boss" she joked, lightening the situation a little. Derek smiled back at her, he knew that having her as a friend is the most he would ever get from her.

"Your welcome Meredith" she noticed immediately the way he looked at her, and she finally realised why everyone referred to him as McDreamy because that's exactly what he was. An abrupt entrance suddenly pulled them from their situation and Derek noticed the presence of an older woman, probably in her late fifties walking into the room. She was an extremely well kept woman and reminded him a little of his mother.

"Meredith" the woman acknowledged as she looked over and back between Derek and Meredith.

"Judy" Meredith acknowledged back. Derek finally realised that this must be Adam's overbearing mother he had heard about but had yet to meet. She was never in the room when he came to check on Adam and wondered why she had yet to request an update from Adam's attending. "Um Derek this is Judy...Adam's Mom"

Derek smiled over at the woman before holding his hand out to take hers but she refused it simply looking on him with fierce eyes. She scared him a little, there was a frightening and condescending aura about her which was not at all friendly.

"Judy this is Dr. Shepherd...he's Adam's neuro attending" Meredith explained. She knew exactly how this woman's mind worked, always coming to exaggerated conclusions. Once Judy knew who the man was her behaviour changed into a warm and friendly nature. She held out her hand and he shook it instantly wanting to give this woman no reason to hate him!

"Oh Dr. Shepherd it's so nice to finally meet you"

"Oh the pleasure is all mine Mrs Holt" Derek realised he was sucking up completely to this woman but then again he was always guilty of sucking up to mothers, it was his thing! Judy laughed nonchalantly and both Meredith and Derek noticed that she was batting her eyelashes at him. Derek blushed and Meredith simply rolled her eyes, being all too familiar with her future mother-in-law's tendencies to flirt with attractive younger men.

"Well I have to get going...I have rounds, I'll be in a little later to give you an update on your son's condition" Derek gave her one more smile before leaving, closing the door behind him.

Meredith went back over to stand beside Adam. She was waiting for the onslaught of questions to come from Judy but none came. Instead the woman followed her movements and stood at the other side of her son, her eyes never leaving Meredith.

"Why was he here this early?" Judy asked suspiciously. Meredith stuttered a little before replying. She knew she couldn't exactly tell her she slept in his arms all night so she searched for another explanation, the long pause not exactly helping her innocence.

"Oh I um...saw him passing and I called him to know something about Adam's labs but turns out it was nothing, I was just over reacting as usual" You could always tell when Meredith was lying because you could just about see her wisdom teeth when she smiled nervously and Judy was well aware of this fact but chose not to go any further with her questioning.

"He's extremely handsome" Judy commented casually as she moved to sit down on the chair, her eyes still on Meredith.

"Yeah I guess so...but I only have eyes for Adam" Meredith brushed the back of her hand over his cheek, he was a little cooler than usual but she knew that was normal in coma patients.

"Well that's good" It sounded like a warning more than a statement and thats exactly how Meredith took it up.

"What are you suggesting Judy?...that I have a thing for my fiance's doctor? my boss?" Meredith, unable to control her anger, snapped at the elder woman.

"I never said anything of the sort Meredith...**_you_** suggested that yourself"

Meredith puffed in anger, gritting her teeth together before storming out of the room. Truth be told she couldn't stand her fiance's mother, she was cruel, insensitive and vindictive and Meredith found it extremely difficult being in the same room as her for more than ten minutes. She always had a way of making Meredith feel small and inadequate, Meredith was the last girl she would have picked for her son to marry and she was just dying to find a reason to pull them apart!


	6. Chapter 6

**_OMG I know I'm terrible, it has been far too long but hell university is kicking my ass...I have so much to do, I can't wait for the holidays when I can write :D Hope you can bare with me!_**

Derek strolled along the corridor of the surgical floor, a chart in hand which he had to read over briefly before seeing to his next patient. His day had been hectic today and he barely had a chance to grab a cup of coffee between the two traumas that rolled in and the six surgeries he had already lined up waiting for him. As he continued on further nearing the nurses station he heard a clutter of giggles. Tearing his eyes away from the chart he saw what he assumed he would see at some stage that day; Mark Sloan chatting up a handful of the female nurses. They had already succumbed to his charm and Derek shook his head with amusement. Mark was always a little man whore as a teenager and it looked like he was yet to grow out of it, in fact Derek doubted he ever would. As he neared the group he heard Mark's usual technique of boasting about his flawless talent as a plastic surgeon. He even threw in a bit of surgical humor for them every so often, hence the laughter. It wasn't long before Mark noticed Derek's presence just a few inches away from them and flashed him a gleaming smile and a mischievious wink.

"Excuse me ladies" Mark smiled as he moved away from the female nurses and towards Derek. Every nurse followed his movements with wanting eyes before going about their hospital business.

"Some people never change" Derek commented as he handed the chart he was reading in over the counter to the older nurse who was looking at Mark with disgust.

"It's a talent, what can I say" Mark stated proudly before patting his friend over the shoulder "It's not like you couldn't get them if you wanted them...being a world class neuro-surgeon and all"

The two men began walking down the corridor away from the nurses station and the nurse who was looking at them with loathing eyes. Derek couldn't take the staring anymore and so decided to direct Mark further down.

"I know I could...I just choose not to, whoring isn't really my thing" Derek teased. Him and Mark could always have a laugh without the other being offended. Their friendship was solid and old and they were more like brothers than friends at this stage even though it had a been a while since they had seen each other. After Derek's move to Seattle they seemed to just lose touch very quickly.

"Ouch..." Mark laughed "So any ladies on the scene then Shep or are you going to try and convince me that the single life is your thing cause I know that's a lie"

Before Derek could answer Meredith turned the corner and was approaching them. His eyes fell on her immediately, she was like a magnet; everytime he saw her he was drawn to her. She was a drug, a drug that he could not and would not escape.

"No...no one" Derek stated in a quite tone as he continued to be mesmorized by Meredith. She was laughing with one of the other interns, she seemed happier than she had been that morning. He loved seeing her smile and unknown to himself a huge smirk spread across his face.

"What?" Mark questioned a little puzzled with Derek's sudden behaviour change. Derek was pulled from his trance and his focus was back on Mark yet he was still very aware that Meredith was approaching them.

"Nothing" Derek shook his head to reinforce the nothingness. Mark looked at him suspiciously his eyebrow pinched a little indicating his skepticism. He knew Derek was hiding something.

"Dr. Shepherd" Meredith interrupted timidly. She flashed him a smile and then gave one to Mark who's eyes lit up at the sight of her. Derek could see him eying her up and down and hated it. He couldn't stand Mark being all 'Sleazey Sloan' to Meredith and he felt an instant urge to protect her from his friend.

"Dr. Sloan" Mark introduced himself before Derek could say anything to Meredith. He held out his hand and Meredith obliged instantly smiling once more at the strange man infront of her.

"Hi...I'm um...Meredith...well Dr. Grey" Derek could tell she was already being a little taken in by Mark's charm and he suddenly felt sick.

"Yes...Dr. Grey is one of Seattle's finest new interns" Derek interrupted doing his best to get in on the conversation before it turned, what he expected to be, dirty! "Is there something you need Dr. Grey?" Derek realized his tone sounded a little dismissive but he was willing to do it if it ended Mark and Meredith's acquaintence. Meredith looked at him a little confused remembering their conversation about being friends merely a few hours before.

"Um...no I was just...well I just wanted to say hi" she commented, her voice cracking a little with the embarassment she was now feeling. "I'm going"

Derek watched as she continued on down the corridor. He felt horrible but it was for the best, he was doing her a favor, all Mark would bring her is pain and humiliation, it was better this way, for all of them!

"Wow" Mark sighed, he too was watching Meredith walk away, his eyes practically bulging out of his socktets. "She's smokin hot" Mark made a fist and brought it up to his mouth in an attempt to pull back his arousal which Meredith had caused.

"Oh no no no...off limits Mark!" Derek barked as he pointed his finger towards Mark "Stay away from her understand"

"Why?...She yours?" Mark sounded a little gutted at the prospect of losing this girl to his best mate "Nice man!" but approved all the same.

"No she's not mine...but I'm treating her fiance...that's right Mark fiance!, she's engaged and she's a nice girl so back off...she doesn't need to be corrupted by a man whore who'll have his way with her and then kick her to the curb when he's done"

Mark stood looking at Derek as he ranted on about this girl he had just met, if he didn't know any better it seemed like Derek was being a bit territorial over her. He watched Derek take in a deep breath after his warning in an attempt to calm himself down, Derek really hadn't meant to get so worked up over it but then again Meredith was having such an impact on his behaviour these days, he was capable of anything.

"You okay man?" Mark finally questioned after Derek had returned to his normal self.

"Yeah...yeah I'm good" Derek assured "Listen I need to get going I have patients, I'll meet up with you later" Derek turned from Mark and practically ran down the corridor. He no longer trusted himself around anyone who had an opinion about Meredith.

* * *

Walking into the CT viewing room, Derek saw Meredith looking at the monitor. She hadn't noticed his presence yet so he just stood there staring. He felt bad about his dismissive behaviour towards her when he was with Mark, he would have to try and hide his emotions a little better from now on.

"Dr. Shepherd" Meredith stated when she saw him hovering in the doorway. "Um the patient's scans should be up any minute"

Derek moved into the room and took a seat beside her. His eyes were sympathetic and apologetic but she wasn't looking at him, instead her attention was on the monitor as she waited for the scans to come up.

"Dr. Bailey assigned me to your service...so I hope you don't mind"

"Why would I mind?" He asked.

"No reason"

"Look I'm sorry about before...I didn't mean to be so rude" he apologised bringing the chair closer to her side.

"No it's fine...I get it, we can only be friends when no one is around, but infront of other doctors, friends your my boss and I'm your intern"

She was being cold now with him. He knew she was upset, well maybe more annoyed with him. He hesitated to speak again but knew he had to say something more to her, he had been an ass!

"Meredith that's not how it is...I was just in a bad mood and I took it out on you and I'm sorry"

She smiled at him warmly, she was more forgiving than he thought.

"Scans are up" she stated still giving him a smile. She didn't have to say anything else, Derek knew they had moved past it.

"Do you want to go out for something to eat after work?...you look like you could do with a distraction for a while"

Meredith was a little shocked at his request but also extremely thankful. She hated having to sit in Adam's room every evening after work just staring at him, hoping he'd wake up. She knew an evening out with a friend was just what she needed and answered

"I'd love to"


	7. Chapter 7

**_WOW, my sincere apologies for such a long delay but god it's been a hectic few weeks, enjoy x_**

Meredith sat in the hospital foyer waiting for Derek to finish up with his patients. As she sat amongst the bussle of the hospital she could feel her hands becoming a little clammy, perhaps it was because she kept rubbing them together so vigorously. She didn't think she would be nervous about their dinner, they were friends, they could talk to one other, one thing for sure was they wouldn't fall into an uncomfortable silence, so why was she so nervous? On the one hand she felt like she was betraying Adam, her finace who lay unconcious in a hospital bed, who was no longer there for her. But this couldn't be considered as cheating, her and Derek were just friends after all, colleagues. She briefly checked her wrist watch for the time, Derek should be down any minute and on that thought her heart began to beat a little bit faster.

_"Calm yourself Meredith...why are you being so stupid, it's just dinner for god's sake!"_

She continued to try and calm herself until Derek turned the corner. He looked amazing, dressed in his casual dark denims and his blue shirt that highlighted his eyes perfectly. She could smell his aftershave as he got closer. He flashed her a McDreamy smile and her heart fluttered a little, "_What the hell was that?"_ She couldn't deny his attractiveness, he was the talk of the hospital among the female staff and she could not understand how he was single! He approached her at a fast rate and she took one final deep breath before he reached her.

_"_Hey" he smiled again "You ready to go?"

Sliding his hands into the arms of his grey coat, he pulled it up over his shoulders, buttoning it up in preparation for the cold weather outside.

"Yeah...I'm starving" Meredith commented following suit, putting her jacket on also. He led her to the car park where he silver BMW sat parked in his usual spot. All the attendings had their own spots right outside the door, while residents and interns had to park what felt like miles from the hospital.

"So unfair" Meredith pouted as she walked towards the passenger side of the flashy car.

"What is?" Derek asked, retrieving his keys from his pocket and unlocking the car.

"How you always manage to get these spots outside the hospital door...we interns are in here every morning at four thiry for rounds and yet we still have to park half way across the lot!" Meredith didn't really realize how completely angry she sounded until Derek smirked a little. She sat herself into the car and Derek followed suit.

"I'm sorry...you can have my spot if it means that much to you" he winked.

"Okay...fine!" she was only half teasing with her answer. "So where are we going then?"

"It's a surprise" he smiled "Ever been on a ferry?"

Meredith actually had never been on a ferry, before Seattle she lived in Boston and never had need of a ferry. She wondered where they could possibly be going! Where there restaurants on ferries or what? She simply shook her head and once again Derek flashed a smile in her direction.

* * *

Surprisingly Meredith enjoyed the ferry ride over to Bainbridge, although it was intensely cold on deck she loved how the sea breeze felt against her face and knowing she was breathing in good healthy air instead of the foul, poisoned air of the city for once. The journey lasted about half an hour, it was quick and as Derek drove the car off the ferry she was back to speculating about their destination.

"So are you going to tell me where your taking me then?" Meredith questioned as she noticed the turn Derek took, taking a side road off the main street. He chuckled again enjoying watching her confused expressions.

"I told you...it's a surprise!" he explained again "Can't you just trust me"

Meredith suddenly wondered if she could trust Derek, afterall she had only known him a number of weeks, how was she to know he wasn't some psychopath who was kidknapping her! She brushed those thoughts to the back of her mind when she realised how insane she sounded.

"Fine" she pouted, rubbing her hands vigorously together in an attempt to warm them up from the cold. She had forgotten her warm gloves, she could picture them sitting back in her locker at the hospital and cursed her stupidity having known it was a bitterly cold night. Derek soon noticed her shivering and moved to crank up the heat and she smiled at him with gratitude. The road became more bumpy as they continued down the road which appeared to be getting narrower and narrower.

"We're almost there" he promised as the car began to slow down.

"Ugh...finally" she sighed with relief, the cold now becoming a little too much to bare, as was her growing curiosity. They were surrounded by towering trees and Meredith knew they had to be in the middle of nowhere. Her heart began to race as she considered the psychopath murderer theory again until Derek announced

"We're here"

Meredith couldn't see anything, they were clothed in blackness with nothing but the moon for light. She could just about make out the outlines of the pine trees as she continued to survey the landscape through the car window!

"You coming?" Derek asked as he opened his car door, a flashlight in his left hand which he immediately flicked on to illuminate his path.

Meredith did hesitate for a minute but then moved to get out of the car. Derek met her at the passanger side still holding the flashlight. He smiled at her reassuringly as he led her through, what she could only guess was, an open field!

"Seriously...where the hell are we?" she demanded following him and the light. Derek didn't answer, eventually stopping.

"I live here" he smiled and Meredith was more than confused now.

"You live where exactly?" she asked looking around her but it was no use she could see nothing in the dark. "You live in a field?" she laughed a little with the absurdity of her question, he couldn't possibly live in a field, could he?

"I live in that trailer" he suddenly flashed the dim light of the flashlight over the darkened trailer that sat in the middle of the field and then waited for her response. He had never shown anyone his home before, not because he was ashamed but because an opportunity never arose. He didn't really have friends in Seattle, he had the chief but that was it and the chief spent most of his days and hours buried under a pile of administration work for the hospital.

Meredith stared at the trailer infront of her. She didn't know what to make of it, was he joking or being serious? He was a hot shot neuro-surgeon, she always imagined that such a high profile surgeon such as Derek Shepherd would be living in a mansion of a house in the hamptons or somewhere, or have a pent-house in the city! Suddenly she realised how incredible it all was, how incredible he was. He wasn't like other surgeons, he was different, he lived in a fricked trailer! Her face lit up as she turned to him.

"It's AMAZING" she stated enthusiastically "I mean SERIOUSLY...you live here? in the wilderness?"

"I do" he smiled back "Shall we?" he motioned to take her arm and she accepted without hesitation having realised that Derek Shepherd was definitely one of a kind!

* * *

They sat talking for the night after Derek made them the most delicious meal Meredith had ever tasted, far better than any restaurant could have mustered up. Derek told her how he loved to fish and would go every morning before heading to the hospital hence why it was fish he made for dinner. Meredith wasn't really a fish eating person but to her surprise it was terrific. His trailer to her amazement was extremely warm and cosy, so homey, she had never felt more at home anywhere else before. The area was so peaceful and quiet, there was no sirens, traffic or anything like that to disturb them and she wondered how anyone could go back to living in the city after experiencing such tranquility.

"I bought this land when I first came to Seattle...I think it's a good investment...I want to be able to build a house here eventually, when I have a family of my own" he explained honestly.

"It's beautiful...I don't think Adam would ever live in such a serene place...he's more of a city person" Meredith stated as she continued to look out onto the lake that you could see from Derek's trailer.

"And you?" Derek questioned, becoming more and more mesmorized by her by the second.

"You know I thought I was a city girl...but after seeing this...I mean how could you not fall in love with this" she smiled, she was completely awe struck by it all.

"Maybe you can convince him...I'm sure he'd do anything for you" Derek found it hard to think Adam wouldn't do anything for this woman, if he loved her he'd want her to be happy and if that meant building a house in Bainsbridge, wouldn't he do that for her?

Meredith sighed deeply, a hint of uncertainty became apparent across her face.

"Maybe" she whispered and Derek's heart immediately sank. He watched how her posture suddenly deflated and the peacefulness she was momentarily experiencing was fading slowly. "I use to think he'd do anything for me but now I'm not so sure"

Derek wanted to question her further but waited for her to continue, if she wanted to tell him more she would but he wouldn't pressure her into doing so. He suddenly noticed a tear falling down her cheek and knew he at least needed to know if she was okay.

"Meredith...are you okay?" he asked sliding closer towards her on the sofa and resting his hand on hers. She simply nodded, smiling at him gratefully for asking.

"I'm sorry...I don't mean to be such a party pooper" she apologized wiping the escaping tears with her sleeve.

"Meredith you can talk to me...we're friends aren't we?" he smiled urging her to get whatever was on her chest out in the open. He knew something was haunting her and while he desperately wanted to find out more about the couples relationship it was more for her benefit that he wanted her to talk. Meredith paced herself taking a deep breath, she was going to tell Derek what she obviously needing to talk about.

"Ummmm...about a year ago...I got pregnant...it was completely unexpected of course" Derek noticed the way she was shaking as she told her story and he tightened his grip on her hand encouraging her to go on. "I always wanted to be a Mom...ever since I was eight years old going around the house with my baby doll under my arm...and even though it was completely unexpected I was happy...I told Adam the same day I found out and he...he just got so angry...so upset...we had a big fight, he wanted to know why I wasn't taking my birth control even though I was, I told him these things happen...anyway he stormed out, he left for three weeks, I didn't see or hear from him...I was a mess...a pregnant mess at that!

Derek was completely enthralled by her story and was listening intently to what she had to say next.

"He came back anyway...he apologised for what he did and told me he really was happy about the baby it was just a shock to him...so I forgave him and we got on with our lives, but two months later...I um...I miscarried" the tears once again began streaming from her green eyes and Derek wrapped his arms around her tightly."Me and Adam just haven't been the same since...I just think we're different people now and I feel he's staying with me out of obligation, I really don't think he loves me anymore"

"And do you love him?" Derek asked rubbing soothing circles around her back.

"I don't know...I mean I think so...this accident and seeing him lying in that bed unconscious...I mean I don't want to lose him...I don't want him to die" Her crying intensified and Derek pulled her closer "Shhhh....shhhh...it's okay"

He couldn't believe the revelation he had just heard and it got him thinking that maybe there was hope for him and her afterall!


End file.
